The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Hello lovers! Welcome to the month of lovvveeeee. I thought it was especially fitting for this month of quarantine to read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. As I’m getting married (hopefully in the near future) I wanted to really figure out what my and my partners love languages are before we take the next step in the relationship, and I found myself wanting to send this to all my loved ones because of how simple it was to read and yet had a beneficial message that could be profound to some couples.

So what are the 5 Love Languages?

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

I think the most important thing however, that almost overshadows this, is Chapman’s explanation of the “falling in love” obsession. I’ve listened, read, and talked to many young people who said just this: “The butterflies are gone. I don’t think I love him,” and though this may actually be the case in some relationships, oftentimes people associate “butterflies” and other forms of love obsession with love. That’s just not the case.

Chapman explains that the love obsession or “falling in love,” can last about 2 years, maybe longer if you’re having a secret affair. Then reality hits. You see your partners “warts” is how he put it. All the flaws and shortfalls and things you thought you liked but maybe you don’t anymore. That’s when love becomes a choice.

Part of that choice? Is choosing to learn about your partner, and their love languages. He goes through many different examples of marital problems and how they were resolved by the couple finding and applying their love languages to the relationship. Many marriages were saved. And while this book focuses on romantic love, I think it can also be very applicable to all your relationships in life. Everyone has a love language, and if you figure it out -- the relationship has the potential to grow even stronger!

I think the most important thing I took from this book is that marriage can be tough. It has its ups and downs and sometimes your partner might seem like an enigma. But it doesn’t have to be a struggle with your partner as well as with life. It can be your partner and you against the ups and downs of life if you just figure out how to properly love each other, even when it’s out of YOUR comfort zone. Chapman says, “when an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of your love.”

I highly recommend reading this one, even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship right now. The sooner you know your love language(s), I think the sooner you will have a more positive, firm foundation when you find the person you CHOOSE to love. It even has a little quiz at the end of the book if you still can’t quite figure out your love language!

My primary love language is Acts of Service and my secondary is Quality Time, which didn’t come as a shock but it did confirm where I stood in the Love Tank region. Very enlightening and I’m very excited for my partner to read it and figure out his!

So, what’s your Love Language? Feel free to let me know!

What’s Next: I’ll be reading and reviewing Fangs by Sarah Andersen for a delightful second Love Month review!